i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
