4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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