I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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