Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
