Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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