Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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