Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
