I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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