i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
