im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
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No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
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I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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