i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
