I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Oh god it's open bar.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
