he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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