I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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