We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
