I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
