Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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