Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
