You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
