I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
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I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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