The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
