You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize