I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
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It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
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Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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