sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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