so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
