I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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