no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
