yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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