So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
