My nipple is on Facebook.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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