How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Boobs speak an international language.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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