I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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