It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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