belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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