Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize