i was rollin on her like bob the builder
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
