The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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