Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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