Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
