I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
and she was petting her beer can
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Life is so much better after having sex.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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