i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
