You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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