she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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