If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
