I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Holy sore nipples Batman
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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