I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Do vagina's smell?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
