We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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