Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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