We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
that's an acceptable place to lick
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
