Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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