Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
