I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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