Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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