considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
