I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
