Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
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God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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