Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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