hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
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I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
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He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize