nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
