can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
