I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
