physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
