She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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