I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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