Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
